You know how I am situated with regard to my ward, Miss Cameron; in a few months I hope she will be Lady Vargrave."
Mr. Douce showed three small teeth, which were all that, in the front of his mouth, fate had left him; and then, as if alarmed at the indelicacy of a smile upon such a subject, pushed back his chair, and twitched up his blotting-paper-coloured trousers.
"Yes, in a few months I hope she will be Lady Vargrave; and you know then, Mr. Douce, that I shall be in no want of money."
"I hope--that is to say, I am sure,--that--I trust that never will be the ca-ca-case with your lordship," put in Mr. Douce, with timid hesitation. Mr. Douce, in addition to his other good qualities, stammered much in the delivery of his sentences.
"You are very kind, but it is the case just at present; I have great need of a few thousand pounds upon my personal security. My estate is already a little mortgaged, and I don't wish to encumber it more; besides, the loan would be merely temporary. You know that if at the age of eighteen Miss Cameron refuses me (a supposition out of the question, but in business we must calculate on improbabilities), I claim the forfeit she incurs,--thirty thousand pounds; you remember."
"Oh, yes--that--is--upon my word--I--I don't exactly--but--your lord--l-l-l-lord-lordship knows best--I have been so--so busy--I forget the exact--hem--hem!"
"If you just turn to the will you will see it is as I say. Now, could you conveniently place a few thousands to my account, just for a short time? But I see you don't like it. Never mind, I can get it elsewhere; only, as you were my poor uncle's friend--"
"Your lord--l-l-l-lordship is quite mistaken," said Mr. Douce, with trembling agitation; "upon my word, yes, a few thou-thou-thousands--to be sure--to be sure. Your lordship's banker is--is--"
"Drummond--disagreeable people--by no means obliging. I shall certainly change to your house when my accounts are better worth keeping."
"You do me great--great honour; I will just--step--step--step out for a moment--and--and speak to Mr. Dobs;--not but what you may depend on.--Excuse me! 'Morning Chron-chron-Chronicle,' my lord!"
Mr. Douce rose, as if by galvanism, and ran out of the room, spinning round as he ran, to declare, again and again, that he would not be gone a moment.
"Good little fellow, that--very like an electrified frog!" murmured Vargrave, as he took up the "Morning Chronicle," so especially pointed out to his notice; and turning to the leading article, read a very eloquent attack on himself. Lumley was thick-skinned on such matters; he liked to be attacked,--it showed that he was up in the world.
Presently Mr. Douce returned. To Lord Vargrave's amazement and delight, he was informed that 10,000 pounds would be immediately lodged with Messrs. Drummond. His bill of promise to pay in three months--five per cent interest--was quite sufficient. Three months was a short date; but the bill could be renewed on the same terms, from quarter to quarter, till quite convenient to his lordship to pay. "Would Lord Vargrave do him the honour to dine with him at Caserta next Monday?"
Lord Vargrave tried to affect apathy at his sudden accession of ready money, but really it almost turned his head; he griped both Mr. Douce's thin, little shivering hands, and was speechless with gratitude and ecstasy. The sum, which doubled the utmost he expected, would relieve him from all his immediate embarrassments. When he recovered his voice, he thanked his dear Mr. Douce with a warmth that seemed to make the little man shrink into a nutshell; and assured him that he would dine with him every Monday in the year--if he was asked! He then longed to depart; but he thought, justly, that to go as soon as he had got what he wanted would look selfish. Accordingly, he reseated himself, and so did Mr. Douce, and the conversation turned upon politics and news; but Mr. Douce, who seemed to regard all things with a commercial eye, contrived, Vargrave hardly knew how, to veer round from the change in the French ministry to the state of the English money-market.
"It really is, indeed, my lord--I say it, I am sure, with concern, a very bad ti-ti-ti-ti-time for men in business,--indeed, for all men; such poor interest in the English fu-fun-funds, and yet speculations are so unsound. I recommended my friend Sir Giles Grimsby to--to invest some money in the American canals; a most rare res-res-respons-reponsibility, I may say, for me; I am cautious in--in recommending--but Sir Giles was an old friend,--con-con-connection, I may say; but most providentially, all turned out--that is--fell out--as I was sure it would,--thirty per cent,--and the value of the sh-sh-sh-shares doubled. But such things are very rare,--quite godsends, I may say!"
"Well, Mr. Douce, whenever I have money to lay out, I must come and consult you."
"I shall be most happy at all times to--to advise your lordship; but it is not a thing I'm very fond of. There's Miss Cameron's fortune quite l-l-locked up,--three per cents and exchequer bills; why, it might have been a mil-mil-million by this ti-ti-time, if the good old gentleman--I beg pardon--old--old nobleman, my poor dear friend, had been now alive!"
"Indeed!" said Lumley, greedily, and pricking up his ears; "he was a good manager, my uncle!"
"None better, none better.